The Mets Are Shallow

Carlos Beltran holds a lot of sway over the young Mets

That’s right.  Jon Niese of the New York Metropolitans was given the gift of a new nose by teammate Carlos Beltran.  No word yet on whether the operation will help his control or not.

“One of the most popular procedures today is the nose job. The technical term for the nose job is rhinoplasty. Rhino? I mean, do we really need to insult the person at this particular moment of their life? They know they have a big nose, that’s why they’re coming in. Do they really need the abuse of being compared to a rhinoceros on top of everything else?
When someone goes in for a hair transplant, they don’t say, “We’re going to perform a cueball-ectomy on you, Mr. Johnson. We’re going to attempt to remove the skin-headia of your chrome-domus…these are the technical terms, of course.”” – Jerry Seinfeld